


Eclipse

by anderswasright



Category: Il trovatore - Verdi/Cammarano
Genre: Angst, Class Differences, F/M, Fratricide, I Made It Worse, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, POV First Person, Pining, Post-Finale, Suicide, This opera is fucking wild to begin with, Tragedy, opera - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 16:24:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14719557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anderswasright/pseuds/anderswasright
Summary: This was mostly inspired by the McVicar staging of Il trovatore at the Met (I have seen both the 2011 and 2015 Live in HD broadcasts). I only changed the "staging" of the ending because onstage murder > offstage execution and most productions do it onstage nowadays. Ferrando is the POV because there's more to him than just some guy who provides exposition. Di Luna would be better off with a loyal, nice bass than a foolish soprano who wants the tenor, but alas, it is not to be. If only everyone in this opera chilled out for like five seconds…Ferrando looks like Štefan Kocán (he's amazing in this role) and Conte di Luna is, obviously, the late and wonderful Dmitri Hvorostovsky. I still miss him.Also, I'm very biased when it comes to di Luna. He's the one who made me fall in love with opera in the first place.





	Eclipse

 

After we get out of the cloister, all I care about is getting my lord to safety. He's been hurt and I couldn't protect him. I had a bad feeling about his plan from the start, but none of us expected to be ambushed like that, and certainly not his supposedly-dead rival showing up.

 

"We will find them" I try to comfort the Count once we have made camp for the night. "Spy reports say they were headed for Castellor."

 

We are alone in his tent, and I have brought water and bandages to treat his injuries. He doesn't speak, which is unusual for him.

 

The cut on his cheek is still bleeding. As gently as I can, I start to clean it. "Forgive me. I need to use some alcohol."

 

He nods and lets me work, with only a bit of hissing. "How bad does it look?"

 

"I'm afraid it will leave a scar." I'm furious. That little bastard made sure to humiliate him and leave a mark that he would bear for the rest of his life. "Once we get our hands on Manrico, he'll pay for this."

 

There is a dark look on his face.

 

"He could have killed me, yet again, and he didn't. I don't understand him. If I had an opportunity like that, I would not hesitate."

 

"He underestimates you." Finally, the bleeding seems to stop. I move on to his hand, which he had cut in a heated moment. "Why did you do this, my lord?"

 

He sighs and says nothing, and I decide not to press the matter. He has the tendency to do things like this when overwhelmed with passion. Ever since he was young, he has been reckless and hotheaded, and I try and fail to reason with him. It just got worse once this obsession with the Lady Leonora started. He would spend night after night under her window. After his first confrontation with his rival, and his defeat, he would not go there again, but he found no rest back at the palace either. Some nights he would drink until he passed out.

 

I hate her. She broke his heart and she does nothing to deserve his devotion. How could she pick that lowborn nobody? Is she blind? Can she not see how beautiful my lord is, far more than his rival, or anyone else I know? Just tonight, I had to listen to him singing praises about her beauty and her smile.  He has no idea I feel the same way about him.

 

Even now, tired, wounded, with a look of despair in his dark eyes, he is gorgeous, and suddenly I am aware that I'm still holding his hand long after I wrapped it in bandages. And he doesn't pull away.

 

For years, I have kept my feelings secret. What use would it be to tell him? I'm just a soldier – captain of his guard, but still a commoner. I'm not worthy of him, I never could be. I serve him loyally, kill his enemies, take care of him, would die for him in a heartbeat. It can never be more than that.

 

"My lord?"

 

"Yes, Ferrando?"

 

"You should get some rest. You haven't slept for the last two days."

 

"I can't. I'm too tired to sleep." He's shivering. I take off my overcoat and wrap it around him. The nights are getting chilly, it's mid-October.

 

"Remember when you used to demand stories every night?"

 

Finally, he smiles. "I was just a boy and you a young soldier. You had the most ridiculous ghost stories. I don't even now how many times I fell asleep in the courtyard, listening to you."

 

"Would you want a tale now?" I ask.

 

"No, just… stay with me. I don't want to be alone with my thoughts tonight. Even thinking about revenge doesn't help much."

 

I'm more than happy to stay. For a while, we sit in silence. After an hour of so, I try to talk him into getting some sleep again.

 

"Alright, I will try." He draws closer and rests his head on my shoulder, and I embrace him to keep him warm.

 

He's so exhausted he falls asleep almost immediately. He looks so vulnerable now. I'm probably the only one who has seen him with his guard down, and I wish I could protect him – not only from his enemies but his own pride and stubbornness that could so easily be his undoing.

 

Very carefully, making sure not to wake him up, I breathe a kiss on his silver hair.

 

 

*

 

 

For a while things seem to go our way. We have captured the witch, taken Castellor and finally have Manrico in chains. At last, my lord will have his vengeance. Yet he cannot be happy about his victory because Leonora disappeared. I had every inch of the castle searched, but she's gone, and my poor lord falls into melancholy once again.

 

He orders the prisoners to be executed at dawn, and I have the men make preparations.

 

Yet all evening, I can't shake off a feeling of dread. The palace is too quiet, then, around midnight, I hear singing. It certainly isn't the men; it's an invisible chorus singing a prayer. Ghosts are nothing new, but this still scares me. The old witch I'm used to seeing. But this? Something is very wrong here.

 

I go to look for the Count, and I find him at the gates, in a heated argument with Leonora.

 

So she's here after all. Of course she is, she wants to save her worthless lover. _Good luck with that_ , I think, as I keep my distance. _You could convince a tiger to let his prey go more easily._

 

Yet it seems she succeeded, for my lord soon rushes over to me, glowing with happiness.

 

"She offered to marry me!"

 

I try to silence the jealousy that seizes my heart.

 

"Do you trust her?"

 

"I made her swear it."

 

So she would finally give him what he wants. And he's willing to ignore that she doesn't love him.

 

"My lord…"

 

"She wishes to free Manrico herself. Tell the guards to let her pass." And with that he's gone, returning to her, too overjoyed to think clearly.

 

I do not buy this. She will probably try to find a way to escape with her lover. Soon, she runs past me on her way to the tower, and the Count stays with me, rambling about wedding plans.

 

"I know she doesn't love me now, but I will be a good and gentle husband. I will make sure she does not regret her decision. She will be treated like a queen. Oh, Ferrando, am I dreaming? Tell me this is real."

 

I want to warn him about the ghostly chorus I heard, but in his current state he wouldn't listen. I have never seen him in such ecstasy before, not even when he first met Leonora.

 

"You are certainly not dreaming, my lord."

 

He tries to wait – to give time for Leonora and Manrico to say goodbye – but he simply can't stay still.

 

"Why does she take so long? I have to go and see what's happening!"

 

I follow him up the winding staircase. It's almost dawn, the first red rays of the sun breaking through the dark horizon. Of course, we'll still execute the witch – that's personal. There is no bargaining about her.

 

When we enter the cell, it's immediately clear that Leonora lied.

 

He does not interrupt them, just looks on, his brief dream of happiness shattered. Maybe he's too shaken to react. Maybe he loves her too much to kill his rival before her eyes.

 

But his mood changes the second she dies. Sadness gives way to blind rage and he grabs Manrico by the shirt, yanking him to his feet.

 

"You are _so fucking dead_."

 

"Do you worst." Manrico looks at his mother, who is is sleeping. "Mother… oh, mother, farewell!"

 

She wakes up, confused and scared, and for a split second, I almost feel sorry for her.

 

"Manrico! Where is my son?"

 

My lord laughs like a madman and draws his dagger. "He's about to die!"

 

"No, wait! Listen to me-"

 

But he's past the point where he would listen to anyone. He pulls his rival closer.

 

"Look!" And he stabs him.

 

"Oh god!" She desperately tries so stop him, but she's chained to the post.

 

He twists the knife, smiling as his rival gasps in pain and grabs him for support. He savours every second of his revenge. Even I shudder seeing the mad delight in his eyes.

 

And then her voice cuts through all that.

 

_"He was your brother!"_

 

He freezes. The dagger falls from his hand. He doesn't question it, he _knows_ it's true. It all makes terrifying sense now.

 

For one horrible moment, the boys look into each other's eyes, the realization coming too late.

 

"No…" The Count whispers. "Dear God, no…" He catches Manrico in his arms as he collapses. "What have I done?"

 

She is the one laughing now. She had her revenge, even if she had to lose the boy she loved as her own.

 

I ignore her and run to my lord, who still holds his dead brother, too shocked to even cry.

 

"Why am I still alive?" He sounds so broken, so lost.

 

I don't know what to say. Why couldn't the damn witch tell us earlier? Why?

 

At least I could make _her_ pay. But when I draw my sword, my lord stops me.

 

"No! Let her go!"

 

"Sir?"

 

"Let her go! I already have enough blood on my hands."

 

She stares at him in disbelief.

 

"You… you would truly let me live?"

 

He sighs and nods. I unchain her, still wary, and turn to the guards. "You heard our lord. Escort her out."

 

Once they are gone, I return to him. What could I say to comfort him? There are no words. I kneel beside him and gently put a hand on his shoulder. He finally breaks down sobbing and clings to me so desperately, all I can do is hold him close and caress his hair.

 

"I want to die" he whispers.

 

"Don't talk like that." But I hold him tighter. No, I won't let that happen.

 

 

*

 

 

It is a cold and grey afternoon when we bury them, together, as my lord commanded, in the family tomb. The chaplain tries to protest about Leonora, but the Count gives him one look and he shuts up.

 

The men gather silently in the rain, and I stand beside my lord. He's very pale, but he tries to keep it together. He can't show weakness in front of them.

 

"Pray for them, Ferrando" he says. "I cannot… I have no right."

 

I do as he says, but I would rather pray for him. _Holy Virgin, let me save him. He never wanted this, the guilt is killing him… and I love him too much to watch him die._

The ceremony is brief – you can only intimidate a priest so much – but many of the men cry.

 

Leonora's best friend isn't here. We sent her a messenger but there was no way she could have made it here so fast. I imagine she will be furious.

 

After the tomb is sealed, the priest leaves, and I gesture the soldiers to follow. We remain in the crypt alone.

 

"All my life, I wanted to find Garcia… I hoped my father was right." He sinks to the floor and touches the cold stone. "Why did it have to end like this?"

 

"My lord… you didn't know…"

 

"But he did. Deep down, he knew. That's why he spared me twice. And how did I repay his mercy?" He looks up, his beautiful dark eyes filled with despair.

 

I move to embrace him, and he welcomes it. Just like earlier, he holds me like I'm his only anchor to the world.

 

"Maybe it was fate's will."

 

"No. I'm the only one responsible for this."

 

"It all started when you were a child… you can't solely blame yourself."

 

He shakes his head. "I have been just as arrogant and vengeful as my father. I could have prevented this. If I were a better man, I wouldn't have pursued Leonora after she rejected me."

 

"She was a damn fool to reject you!" I can't hold back. "You are beautiful, you look like an angel-"

 

"But she could see my true nature. I'm a monster. I didn't deserve her love."

 

"That's not true… there is good in you."

 

"There was once, maybe. Now there is only darkness."

 

I don't know what to say to that. I pull him closer.

 

How could I say "I love you"? Even if we have a close relationship, we can never be equals. And he has just lost everything.

 

All I can do is stay by his side and try to help.

 

 

*

 

 

By the evening, he has a fever. He wanders restlessly and refuses to go to sleep, even though he would desperately need some rest. I follow him around, begging him to at least come back inside. It's still raining, the wind is stormy, it's very cold, and the walls and catwalks are too dangerous on a night like this.

 

I'm terrified, but I try not to show it. "At least put on your coat" I plead with him.

 

He lets me help it on, but barely hears me. "I must go back to the tower."

 

"My lord, please… " What good would it be for him to go back?

 

"Can't you hear that he's calling to me?"

 

"Alright. Just… let me help." I try not to cry as I help him up the stairs. He's so weak he can barely walk. All that grief and the lack of sleep really took a toll on him.

 

For once I cannot see any ghosts, but he clearly can.

 

When we enter the cell, he lets go of me and walks over to the place where he killed Garcia. There are still bloodstains on the stone floor.

 

"You called me here…. Speak then." His voice trembles.

 

I don't know if the unseen spectre answers. I can't hear him, all I feel is an unnatural cold. But my lord is sobbing.

 

"No, no, I did not harm her. She is free."

 

There is a long silence as, I presume, the ghost, or his vision, answers. Then he cries out. "Garcia! Don't go! We should never have been enemies. Forgive me…" He falls on his knees. "Brother, please… forgive me."

 

I realize I'm shaking. If it's truly Garcia, then he can't find rest; and if it's just a hallucination, my poor lord might be losing his mind.

 

Whatever the answer, he says no more. I make my way to him and help him up. He looks at me as if waking from a dream.

 

"Ferrando… "

 

"My lord?"

 

"I feel dizzy…"

 

"You have a fever. Please, let me escort you back down. You really should rest."

 

"Yes… I think… I need to…" Then he falls into my arms.

 

I carry him all the way to his room, and once I managed to get him in bed – with some help from a guard – I kneel beside him and hold his hand.

 

I pray for him to heal, to find some inner peace again. I keep vigil while he sleeps. At least, for now, his demons leave him alone.

 

At dawn, he finally stirs and asks for water. I give him a drink, but I dare not ask about his vision last night. It's probably better not to bring it up.

 

"Are you feeling better, my lord?"

 

"I need to get up." I touch his hand. The fever seems to be gone for now, but I wish he would take it easy for a while.

 

I help him get dressed – he's still unsteady and needs to sit down after a few minutes.

 

"Should I send for breakfast?" He has barely eaten anything yesterday.

 

"Yes." He runs a hand through his hair.

 

"How do you feel?"

 

He doesn't answer that. "Ferrando, what about _you_? You were up all night."

 

"I'm used to it, my lord." I tell the guard outside to bring him breakfast.

 

"You always worry about me, but forget that you need your rest too."

 

"I'll sleep later, I promise."

 

After he finally eats, I'm a bit calmer. Maybe he will be alright. He just needs time to heal.

 

I refuse to leave, and he seems grateful for my company, even when he stays silent for hours at a time. Sometimes he looks at me, as if he wanted to say something, then he just sighs. He spends most of the morning in a window seat, with a book in hand. He never once turns a page.

 

It's almost noon when a guard enters.

 

"The Lady Inez is waiting in the Great Hall…"

 

The last thing the Count needs right now is Inez yelling at him. "Should I try to handle her?" I ask.

 

"Please…" He puts his book down and, as I stand, he reaches for my hand. "Ferrando… thank you."

 

"I'd rather spare you from her lecture" I say with a smile.

 

He holds me back, gets up and pulls me in an embrace. I'm a bit surprised – he's been so aloof for the last few hours.

 

"You are a good man. I just… I wanted to tell you I'm grateful. I know I don't thank you enough."

 

"My lord… I could not wish for a better liege."

 

He holds me close, as if he's afraid to let go. I wish I could stay. I want nothing more than to tell him how much I love him, but I can't. I have to deal with Inez, and, preferably, get her to leave.

 

"I'll try to be back as soon as I can" I whisper.

 

Slowly, reluctantly, he lets go of me.

 

"I'm sorry…" He touches my cheek and I can feel I'm turning red.

 

"Don't be. It's my job to save you from unwanted visitors."

 

I go downstairs, following the guard, and enter the hall.

 

Inez is, predictably, angry.

 

"I want to speak with him, _now_!"

 

"Lady Inez, please. He's not well."

 

"Not well! Don't lie to me, Ferrando! He's just scared of me!"

 

"I'm not lying." I draw her aside. "Listen. Last night he had a fever so bad he was hallucinating, or maybe seeing ghosts. Then he passed out. He could still barely get up this morning. Believe me, he's already paying for his sins more than enough."

 

"As he should! My best friend is dead because of him!" She starts crying. "I tried to warn her…"

 

"There is nothing we can do now, my lady. Rest assured, she had a proper funeral and we all pray for her soul."

 

I keep talking and she mellows out a bit. I tell her the whole sad story, and she crosses herself, looking horrified.

 

"Merciful God! And he let that witch go, after all this?"

 

"She was not guilty. And we have wronged her."

 

"Can I stay for tonight?" She asks. "It's been a long journey, and I'm tired."

 

"Of course. I'll have a guest room prepared." Dinner will certainly be unpleasant with her, but hopefully she would not yell at my lord.

 

"Do you think there are really ghosts here?" She seems a bit worried.

 

"I doubt they would bother you, my lady. You never harmed any of them."

 

"This place… it really seems like a curse lies upon it."

 

"Sometimes, I think that too."

 

I call for a servant to prepare a room for Lady Inez. "Should I show you the way to the guest wing?"

 

"That would be kind of you."

 

On our way we pass by my lord's quarters, and I stop, wanting to inform him Inez would stay for a while, but he's not there.

 

"Where did he go?"

 

"Maybe he needed a walk" Inez suggests. "Or he was worried I would burst in and make a scene."

 

I ask the nearest guard where he went.

 

"He said he was going to the crypt, Captain."

 

"The crypt… but why would he-" Then I remember how strangely he acted before I left, how he embraced me for a long time, the things he said, and my blood turns to ice. "I shouldn't have left him alone!"

 

"Ferrando? What's wrong?" Inez asks, confused, but I have no time to answer her. I run.

 

I'm out of breath by the time I cross the garden. It's neglected this time of the year; most of the trees are bare, only the dark cypresses and pines bring some life into it.

 

Before I even reach the crypt, I hear a gunshot.

 

"NO!"

 

The door is locked from the inside, and it takes me a while to break it down, precious minutes that feel like years. I stagger inside.

 

"Heavens help me…"

 

 

He has collapsed against the tomb, his white shirt drenched in blood. I run to him. His eyes are closed but he's still breathing.

 

"My lord…" I break down in tears and take his hand. "Oh God, I'm too late…"

 

There is too much blood, and I can only imagine the internal damage. Very carefully, I take him in my arms. He opens his eyes and whispers my name.

 

"I'm here. I'm here, my lord." I try to reassure him.

 

"I'm sorry… I couldn't bear it any longer…" His voice is so weak, and I can hear he's struggling for every breath.

 

"I realized too late you were trying to say goodbye…" I hold him close, gently caressing his silver hair.

 

"Give me your hand…" When I do, he desperately grabs it. "Why couldn't I aim better…"

 

It's painful to watch as he gasps for air and coughs up blood. I help him in a sitting position so he can rest against me. That seems to bring him momentary relief.

 

"I wanted to save you…"

 

He tries to smile, and he touches my face again, with such tenderness. Does he _know_  what I feel for him?

 

"Ferrando… oh, my poor, loyal Ferrando…"

 

"Don't go, my lord…" _Don't leave me alone in this world._

 

"Last night… when Garcia appeared to me…"

 

"What did he say?" I was too afraid to ask before.

 

"He wasn't even angry with me… just watched me with sad eyes. He said… 'join me, brother'." He tears up.

 

I have never felt so helpless. He's dying and I still can't tell him that I loved him more than anything in this world.

 

"My lord…"

 

His eyes meet mine. _I know_ , his look says.

 

It's too late. Too late for both of us.

 

He grasps my coat. "Ferrando… hold me…"

 

I hug him tight. He's in so much pain.

 

"I'm afraid" he whispers.

 

"I made an oath to protect you…"

 

"You did everyth-" He coughs again, almost choking on blood. "Farewell… I can't…"

 

One more weak sigh, and he goes still in my arms.

 

I just sob quietly, burying my face in his silver hair, holding him close.   _Farewell? No. I will follow you … I will protect you, no matters what awaits._

He looks so peaceful now, as if he were sleeping after a long day. At last, I collect enough courage to kiss him – the first and last time.

 

"Sweet dreams, my lord…"

 

I reach for the gun, reload it, then I draw him close again, leaning against the cold stone of the tomb. I look at him – so beautiful, even in death… I may damn my soul forever, but he's worth Hell.

 

"I love you." Finally, I can speak these words, after keeping silent for so long.

 

Then I pull the trigger.

 

 

 


End file.
